The 5 phases of grief are the most commonly known model. What you don’t frequently see is the seven phases of the grief model. This model closely follows the five stages model, with two additional platforms: pain/ guilt and the upward turn. Denial and shock – When an individual learns of the death of a person, they meet with the news. People describe feeling numb. That’s an innate and normal reaction that could help shield your mind. As your brain prepares to handle the loss Instead of being overwhelmed by emotions simultaneously, you move through this point. Pain and Guilt – Over days, the news shock starts to wear off.
As it does, it’s replaced by heartbreaking pain. Your pain may seem excruciating. To move throughout the process let yourself feel the pain. Trying to conceal mask or the pain it with substances such as alcohol and drugs extends your grief. During this stage, you might find yourself dealing with emotions of guilt. Because things were left unsaid, you may feel guilty. You might feel guilty because you’re angry with your cherished one for dying. Since the feelings are raw, this might be the stage of the process. Anger and Bargaining – Throughout this stage of grief, anger replaces your frustration.
People may even lash out in objects. You can even lay the blame for your family member’s death on someone completely innocent. While many of your close buddies and family members will tolerate your outbursts, they’ll do so only for a short period. Do your very best to control your anger. You don’t want to lose established relationships due to your loss. You wind up bargaining. You’ll never do X if your cherished one is returned to you. If you’re able to merely watch your one you will do Y. You will 
have these thoughts, Even though part of you knows that getting your one returned to you is not possible.
Depression – Depression, sadness Own and loneliness are the feelings that individuals most frequently associate with grief. The difficult part of this phase is that it comes just when individuals think you should be getting over death. Your family and friends might try to talk you out of your emotions and despair that their words don’t help you. Throughout the stage of grief, people frequently realize, for the very first time, the enormity of their loss. You might find that you don’t want to socialize, preferring to be left alone with your emotions.
Here is the grief model we call the 7 Stages of Grief:
SHOCK & DENIAL-
You will probably react to learning of the loss with numbed disbelief. You may deny the reality of the loss at some level, to avoid the pain. The shock provides emotional protection from being overwhelmed all at once. This may last for weeks.
PAIN & GUILT-
As the shock wears off, it is replaced with the suffering of unbelievable pain. Although excruciating and almost unbearable, you experience the pain, and you will not be able not to hide, avoid, or escape from it with alcohol or drugs. You may have guilty feelings or remorse over things you did or didn’t do with your loved one. Life feels chaotic and scary during this phase.
ANGER & BARGAINING-
Frustration gives way to anger, and you may lash out and lay unwarranted blame for the death of someone else. Please try to control this, as permanent damage to your relationships may result. This is a time for the release of bottled-up emotion. You may rail against fate, questioning “Why me?” You may also try to bargain in vain with the powers that be for a way out of your despair (“I will never drink again if you just bring him back”)
DEPRESSION, REFLECTION, LONELINESS-
Just when your friends may think you should be getting on with your life, a long period of sad reflection will likely overtake you. This is a normal stage of grief, so do not be “talked out of it” by well-meaning outsiders. Encouragement from others is not helpful to you during this stage of grieving. During this time, you finally realize the true magnitude of your loss, and it depresses you. You may isolate yourself on purpose, reflect on things you did with your lost one, and focus on memories of the past. You may sense feelings of emptiness or despair.
THE UPWARD TURN-
As you start to adjust to life without your dear one, your life becomes a little calmer and more organized. Your physical symptoms lessen, and your “depression” begins to lift slightly.
RECONSTRUCTION & WORKING THROUGH-
As you become more functional, your mind starts working again, and you will find yourself seeking realistic solutions to problems posed by life without your loved one. You will start to work on practical and financial problems and reconstructing yourself and your life without him or her.
ACCEPTANCE & HOPE-
During this, the last of the seven stages in this grief model, you learn to accept and deal with the reality of your situation. Acceptance does not necessarily mean instant happiness. Given the pain and turmoil you have experienced, you can never return to the carefree, untroubled YOU that existed before this tragedy. But you will find a way forward. You will start to look forward and actually plan things for the future. Eventually, you will be able to think about your lost loved one without pain; sadness, yes, but the wrenching pain will be gone. You will once again anticipate some good times to come, and yes, even find joy again in the experience of living.
If you find your self not making it through stage 7 or Stage 5 in the older model please seek counseling because your grief may be more complex than others and should be discussed with a medical professional.
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