LONG SLEEPLESS NIGHTS AFTER LOSING MY MOTHER
It was very painful and I felt very sorry when I lost my mother. Even though I knew that at some point she could leave, you can never be prepared to face a situation like that. In fact, I thought that it wouldn’t hurt so much since I am already an adult person with a family, but a mother’s love is so great, that just the thought that she will no longer be by our side, makes us restless and in pain.
Since I was a teenager and started to understand the meaning of life better, I could realize that children should bury their parents, and in fact, it is one of the most natural things in life. Growing up, getting married, and having a family, I thought I would be stronger and able to deal with the idea that my mother would die one day.
She was an older woman, but she could do several things on her own, although sometimes she forgot some stuff. However, one morning she simply didn’t wake up. I clearly remember the day when I received that call very early in the morning, when my brother, crying, told me that our mother had died. We both felt so much pain, and I could only sit on the furniture in shock with my eyes full of tears.
After the whole funeral process, I was still very hurt, and the pain of losing my mother began to be reflected in many aspects of my life, but the worst thing for me was the sleepless nights. There were many long nights I spent thinking about her, remembering and missing her. Nights filled with tears and pain, but within a few days, with the help of my wife, I learned to thank God for giving her a healthy life and allowing her to leave in peace, without pain or serious illness.
During those sleepless nights I began to realize that crying would not bring her back and that thanks to my wife’s words, I began to remember her in her best moments, from the memories of when I was a child, to the last moments of joy I could enjoy with her. Sometimes the pain always comes back, and many times I find it hard to sleep thinking about her, but then I remember the many mischiefs I made as a child, the patience and love she had for me until I find her love in my heart and went back to sleep.
This way I was able to understand my mother’s death better, and now there is not a day on which I don’t think of her, but I remember her with love and with all the good and bad that she could teach me. Many adults like me may call me immature for having suffered so much from my mother’s death, but the truth is that we are not all the same, and each person reacts differently to a grieving situation.
In the case of my family, I spent many nights, at least two weeks, where I couldn’t sleep because of the pain and depression. My brother, on the other hand, although he was also suffering, didn’t show it as much as I did and I could say he got over it quite well. In the end, we both learned that the best thing is what happens, and we understood that our mother’s time had come. I also realized that as I rested more, the pain would lessen, and I could comfort myself more quickly.
I also understood that every grief has its process, although not all are equal. It’s not the same losing a friend as losing a mother. But sooner or later, our heart healed and all that remained in our minds were the moments of mischief, of making Mom’s life impossible, of those moments when we laughed when she scolded my brother, or sometimes when she scolded me, but those memories were what helped me to keep going.
Now that I know what it is like to suffer for a loved one, for a mother, I was able to find the courage to write a little bit about my experience and help others who may be in the same situation as I was and help them overcome that pain. One of the things that helped me the most was the company of my family, especially my wife, so you can start by recommending avoiding loneliness.
As I said before, there are people who face grief in different ways, among them there are many who just want to be alone, but the truth is that loneliness can only aggravate the pain and sleepless nights, so it is better to always try to be accompanied. Look for support in your family, siblings, wife, and if you do not have a close relative, look for your friends, those trusted friends with whom you can vent and feel at peace.
Once I began to feel more at ease I did some research on grief, insomnia, and other symptoms that I presented, and in most of the sites and consultations that I did I discovered that sleeping is more important than we think to face these painful situations. I understand perfectly that at the beginning it will not be easy, but we must try to rest as much as we can.
The best way to cope with the death of our mother and any other loved one, is to always remember the good times, the moments of joy, everything we learned from her, and also remember that she will always be with us in some way. A person doesn’t die when he or she leaves, they only die when we forget them, and our mother is the being who has the most impact on our lives, and in every aspect; emotional, spiritual, physical, intellectual, etc. It is thanks to her that we are what we are or what we can become.
One way to “distract” us a little from the pain, is to think about all the jokes we used to play on our mother. At least in my case, I played a lot with my mother and told her many jokes. Sometimes I made her laugh a lot and her smile is something I will always carry with me as well as her love and everything she taught me and still teaches me.
