Some folks will transition all through life decade after decade without ever being touch by the loss of an immediate family member, friend or pet. These are the folks I envy the most the ones that effortlessly stroll around the planet with a horseshoe stuck up their ass. I say this as a compliment because if you have never lost a parent, spouse, child, sibling, friend or a pet then count your blessings. I don’t know whether or not your luck is a part of divine intervention, aliens, guardian angels or just the luck of the draw, who knows.
For the rest of us Bad Luck Schleprocks (Wowsy, Wowsy, Woo Woo), it can be a rocky road, to say the least when your family suffers several deaths in such a short period. There are no words to describe the pain you feel when your parents no longer exist. Its sort of a like suddenly waking up from a coma, realizing you’re all alone on earth. Grief over losing a parent is rawer and runs deeper because never being able to see someone again until judgment day if you believe in God is really forever.
Its an entirely different feeling when you’re parents are still alive back in the old neighborhood but you’re living across the country in Los Angeles with your own family or if your parents are divorced. When your parents are gone it’s breathtaking but in a bad way. I mean life gets real funky folks when you lose your parents, especially your mom. Losing your mother is like the destruction of your ancestral foundation the cornerstone of what makes you so unique and special, it’s your guiding light. I constantly struggle with the reality that my father is gone and the poor relationship we had before his death. Just when I started accepting my dad’s and stepdads’ death another blow has hit me the closest person that meant everything to me my mom is gone now from this world forever. Nowadays I can barely muster the strength to look normal I just walk around with a glassy stare into my new life without Ma. I’ve had to befriend people I normally wouldn’t have talked to when my mother was alive, let alone spend time with them for several hours or days. Grief will have you so lonely, isolated and desperate you’ll damn near befriend a cockroach. Instead, you befriend these people I like to call strange bedfellows. You know the ones, the ones you once swore you’d never talk to again or didn’t want to be bothered with in the first damn place because their lunatics and they mean you no good. Exactly, the family members you love to hate because they’re totally wackadoodle. Thank God for the family members, co-workers, friends and neighbors that that truly cares about your well being. Sadly, one should not have to deal with this nonsense when you’re dealing with so much pain and sorrow. Bed follows come in many different cloaks that easily deceive. For instance, here’s a brief listing of several groups that may or may not cause you a few headaches during this traumatic time listed below:
The hanger-on’s Group: The family members and friends waiting for the insurance policies to be disbursed so that they can borrow some money to pay a cable bill or make a mortgage payment.
Touchy-Feely Group: The ones who were creepy and slimy when you were a kid always trying to cop a feel or push up on you. These nasty SOB’s are still around trying to hit on you before, during and after the funeral.
Family Group: The cousins, aunts, uncles, and friends you really love and wished you had spent more time with them before your mom died. (good people that really want to help and be there for you.)
The Thirsty Group: What are you going to do with your mom’s belongings, the ones that want your mom’s house, clothes, shoes, jewelry, etc.
Aquintenses Group: Friends, supervisors, employees, neighbors (some of these are really good people and want to help.)
The Sneaky Group: The ones that open up insurance policies behind your back because depressed and distraught over your mom’s death that you may die of a broken heart. They may also seek to have you committed due to mental reasons so that they can take all your stuff and your mother’s belongings.
The Insincere Group: This is the group of people who secretly never liked you or your parents and are angry or jealous about something that happened with your parents years ago. The walk around harboring angry thoughts and passing hurtful gossip about your entire family waiting for your impending doom.
The Eat’em Up a Group: The group that only shows up to eat, drink, and pretend to read the Bible after the funeral services. (usually the clergy)
The Clamer Group: They coconuts come through stealing everything. Walking through your home grabbing everything not nailed down like old family pictures and staking claim to your parent’s other precious belongings. These folks are quick to say your mother borrowed my snowblower 2 years ago and never gave it back, so I’ll take it back when I leave today(and how can you prove their lying everybody is dead now.)
Attorneys: Self-explanatory (i.e probate, wills, real estate, power of attorney, etc.)
Animal Abuser: The ones that just can’t wait to steal, put your mom’s pets, put them to sleep or throw them outside in the cold.
The Boyfriends/Girlfriends: The one you let move because you were in pain and lonely, and then he quit his job and now you can’t get him out of your home without a court order.
This list can go on and on just be careful not to get too lonely and desperate enough to be taken advantage of during the grief process. I understand you’re going through a difficult time and you have to do what you need to do for comfort and support but beware, keep one eye open because some of these folks out here in the streets are very shady. Some folks will bring hope, love, and kindness to your doorstep while others will come in the form of a Trojan Horse to do harm. Remember, to make no major decisions until a year or more after your mother’s death.
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