Grief is a great excruciating emotional and physical pain that occurs after the loss of someone very dear to you, especially when that someone is a parent. Although you will eventually have to accept the fact that someone so close to you is lost. The very folks that have played such an integral part in your life that has made you the person you are today have been forever removed from this earth and from your life. I think that’s primarily why This pain is really so tough to withstand and can’t be brought under control at times. Losses of loved ones like parents, children, and spouses have equal intensities of pain. When they are taken away from your life, you feel like you have lost everything in life worth living for.
The emotional attachment between children and parents is so high because children depend on parents for anything and everything. They can’t even imagine a situation where their parents are no longer with them to live life. Even when children are grown up, they continue to have a tendency to depend on their parents for guidance or advice.
Children and parents share everything in life from genetics to DNA. They live with such closeness that, children love to narrate each incident in their life to their parents.
When they share their thoughts and dreams, they feel that they are not alone in the world. Hence the loss of a parent has serious after-effects on the life of people.
When people lose their parents in their childhood it can shake the foundations of a child’s belief in the world as a safe place. That’s why it is so important for the living parent or guardian to provide the grieving child plenty of reassurance and encouragement to begin to feel safe again. It’s also important to keep communication open with children that have suffered the devastating loss of losing a parent.
The Loss of parents as an adult is still grief-filled, overwhelming and traumatic, nothing is ever the same again — it’s a wholly transformative personal experience. It is expected for parents to die before their children at least that’s what usually occurs. As adults, we are taught that we must accept, losing a parent because is a natural phenomenon that we all must live with, unfortunately. I think one of my worse fears as a child and an adult was watching my parents age. I cherished the days when my parents were young, active and vibrant and I think most people do every child likes to spend as many days with their parents as possible. They love to discuss and share everything with them. We sometimes naively think that our parents will live forever but we soon learn that life doesn’t work that way, and then reality steps in to remind us that neither we or our parents are immortal.
Loss of a parent can cause great mental grief in people. It changes your perspective of life in general. It slowly changes you into this whole other person like a deranged nutjob with extreme emotional grievances. You may then become emotionally unavailable to your own family. From there, things can get really get out of control, and at that point if there is no support team you can find your self in a world of hurt. A good network of family and friends to support you during this trauma and to help you accept your new reality in life is invaluable. After the death of my parents and step-parents, I have come to understand that life is full of uncertainties and expectations that invariably lead to disappointments which are also a part of life I find unbearable. It is better but not desirable to deny the pain and pretend nothing really happened, but you’re only fooling yourself. When you intentionally try to avoid dealing with the loss of a parent or any loved-one it will only come back to haunt you at a later date and then, all the painful thoughts come rushing up suddenly catching you off guard only too make your life just that more difficult emotional, mentally and sometimes psychologically. If you don’t make a change in how you deal with your pain and sorrow it can have an effect on your health, family, and job that’s why it’s so important to come up with ways to redirect your energy, attitude, anger, and thoughts to more positive aspects in your life. Folks, in other words, this grief shit can make you sick and can even kill you if you are not taking care of yourself and paying attention to your body, trust me I know. I have come to learn and accept that the Loss of parents and other family members is something that is not under my control and that even as I type this blog post I am steadily marching towards my own demise. It is a reality that all people have to accept and face regardless of whether you like it or not. However, if you still find it difficult to swallow this dose of bitter reality please seek the help of experts who will do their best to assist you in navigating through the depression, anxiety, pain, and sorrow of losing the core of your family foundation, maybe therapy will work for you it didn’t for me but that’s another story for another blog.
I have come to discover that writing about your grief allows you to express, remember, contemplate or just get things off your chest around the events that took
place before, after and during your parent’s death. Hopefully, this will set the stage for you to start healing, and thinking about a future without them be it bad, good or indifferent. Look, I don’t know why but it works for me and I’m a poor writer as you can see but that doesn’t matter because the grief journal is just for your eyes only. Journaling about your grief can really be healthy and helpful for both grieving adults and children, so let’s start journaling today. When you create a journal you can see things a little clearer and watch your grief journey progress in real-time. Its hard and the struggle is real!!!!!
For more information on grief journaling please click this link https://journaltherapy.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/04/Article-KA-Managing-Grief-through-Journal-Writing.pdf
