Aw, the sound of my neighbor getting his pool ready for the summer; and his grandchildren screaming “Marco Polo” over and over again.
I remember a time when that noise filled my heart with comfort. It was a happy reminder that summer was finally here. It meant long days, warm evenings, and family barbecues. Most of all, it meant my mom would be calling me from the kitchen window, her laughter mixing with the background noise.

It was life. It was love. It was everything I didn’t realize I would someday lose.

Now, those same sounds are like tiny shards of glass in my heart. The shrieks of laughter that once brought a smile to my face now make me want to close all my windows. Instead of excitement, I feel an ache — a raw, deep reminder that someone important is missing from my life.

It’s strange how grief can change even the smallest things.

Sound, Memory, and Grief

Grief doesn’t just live in the “big days” — the birthdays, the anniversaries, the holidays. It sneaks into the everyday moments we never thought would hurt.

It’s in the smell of sunscreen.
It’s in the ice cream truck jingle.
It’s in the sound of neighbors splashing and yelling “Marco Polo” under the burning summer sun.

Scientists say our senses — especially sound and smell — are directly tied to memory and emotion. It’s why a song can instantly bring you back to a first dance, or why the crackling of a fire can suddenly make you miss sitting next to someone who’s no longer here.

Grief has a way of turning comfort into discomfort. And sometimes, that’s the hardest part: grieving not just the person, but the life you had when they were still here.

You’re Not Crazy — You’re Human

If you’ve ever felt like this, please hear me: you’re not crazy.
You’re not “too sensitive.”
You’re not “living in the past.”

You’re a human being who loved deeply — and love leaves echoes behind. It leaves fingerprints on everything, even the most ordinary parts of life. And when those fingerprints become visible again — triggered by a sound, a sight, a smell — it’s completely natural to hurt.

Summer isn’t just a season anymore. For some of us, it’s a season of remembering what we’ve lost.

And that’s okay.

How to Cope When Old Joys Turn Into New Pain

So what can you do when the sounds of summer — or anything else — begin to feel unbearable?

Here are a few gentle ideas:

🌿 Acknowledge It, Don’t Fight It:
Sometimes the fastest way through the pain is simply to admit it’s there. Say it out loud: “This hurts because I miss my mom.”
There’s nothing weak about that. It’s brave.

🌿 Create New Associations:
Consider building a new tradition in honor of your loved one. Maybe when you hear the pool sounds, you light a candle in their memory, or you treat yourself to something they loved — like a popsicle, a favorite song, or a backyard garden moment.

🌿 Set Boundaries for Yourself:
It’s okay to close your windows if you need a break. It’s okay to turn on your own music.
Grief is already heavy; you don’t need to carry more than you can bear at any given moment.

🌿 Talk to Someone Who Understands:
Sometimes sharing your experience — even just in a Facebook post, a grief group, or with a trusted friend — can help.
When you speak your grief, it loses some of its power to isolate you.

🌿 Remember: Healing is Not Linear:
You might be fine one summer and struggle the next. Healing doesn’t mean the sounds stop hurting — it means you learn how to honor the hurt without being swallowed by it.

A Love That Still Lives

If you’re reading this and feeling a lump in your throat, I want you to know something:
Your love for the one you lost is still alive.

Every time you feel that tug at your heart, it’s proof that your connection is still real. Love doesn’t die just because people do.
It transforms. It moves deeper. It becomes part of who you are.

And in some small way, that sound of “Marco Polo” — as annoying or painful as it is now — is still a living echo of a life that was once full, happy, and shared with someone irreplaceable.

Your grief is a testament to the depth of your love.
And your love is a testament to the beauty of your life — and theirs.

🌸 In Closing

If summer sounds have changed for you too, you’re not alone.
Many of us walk through the seasons feeling like strangers in a place that once felt like home.

But here’s the good news: grief may change the way we experience the world, but it doesn’t take away our right to find new meaning, new memories, and even new peace.

Maybe not today. Maybe not this summer.
But someday, you’ll hear laughter again — and it will make you smile for all the right reasons.

Hold on.
You’re doing better than you think.

🌿 With love and understanding,
– I Was Her Angel